


Wait

by RittaPokie



Category: Marvel
Genre: Angst, Really a lot of angst, Suicide, and nothing else, its only angst and I am so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:43:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6241543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RittaPokie/pseuds/RittaPokie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The premise: Johnny Storm is tired of living at the Baxter building by himself and moves in with vigilante buddies Peter and Wade. Only, he doesn't know what Wade is like on his worst days. Now he's about to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING FOR ANGST AND DESCRIPTION OF A SUICIDAL CHARACTER.

Johnny hasn't been living with them long when it happens. And of course, it was inevitable. Until now, it's been fun and games. Peter has to share his bed most nights with two loud jackasses. Who snore. And make jokes. And bicker. But they're his best friends so what's he gonna do? Anyway, the inevitable Bad Days, trademarked by Wade Winston Wilson.

Peter is pretty used to them. He wakes up and Wade is quiet. Quiet quiet, not Wade's version of "quiet" where he's not talking but he's humming or bouncing his legs or dancing around the apartment. But still, stone cold silence. It still shakes him to his very core and makes his stomach churn. But maybe that's just his spidey sense.

He usually wakes up in a cold sweat around the time Wade drops into this mood, but he had four classes back to back, he worked a long, long shift, and he went out on patrol. So he was dead on his feet and stumbled into bed still wearing his suit (thankful that both his roomies know). So he doesn't wake up.

\---

Johnny is sitting in a dining chair he drug into the living room because Wade's posture on the couch when he came into the room said Wade wasn't going to share. Johnny can't help but keep glancing at him. He hasn't moved the entire time Johnny's been up. He's wearing the mask so Johnny doesn't even know if he's blinked.

He's used to the loud spontaneity Wade usually brings wherever he goes. The jokes, the singing, the talking to himself. He's used to that. He's not used to /this/. He wonders if this is the Merc part of the merc with a mouth. He's seen the mouth.

After about 2 hours of this he stands and makes a beeline for Peter's room because honestly? He's more than a little freaked out. Wade doesn't react when he moves but he gets a sinking feeling that Wade's eyes are on him. Funny, the mask isn't creepy usually. But it is now.

\---

"Pete. Pete please get up." He shakes Peter awake and Peter groans. "C'mon man, I'm freaked the fuck out okay?"

"I told you the mailman just hates us don't worry about it. He's not gonna taze you." Peter mumbles, but then his eyes snap open. He can feel it.

"It's not-the mailman has a tazer? Never mind-it's Wade?" Johnny says, pulling Peter out of bed.

"Yeah, okay, just go sit in there with him I'll be there in a second." Peter rubs his eyes.

"So this. Just is what happens sometimes? No cause for concern?"

"Ehh. I don't know about that last part. Just go." He shoos Johnny out and shuts the door. 

\---

Johnny goes back into the living room, looking like a wary stray cat, and sits back on the dining chair. He fidgets with the hem of his shirt as Wade clicks through TV channels without seeming to actually pay attention to them. The aborted noises the shows are making just adds to the ambience that is already creeping Johnny out. He's thankful when Peter comes into the living room.

\---

Peter, used to this, sits right next to Wade on the couch. He's careful not to touch him, but he takes the remote out of his hand and sets the channel on something nonsensical. Some soap or housewife show. He's not sure which, it doesn't really matter.  
Johnny still can't help but stare. Peter starts talking about yesterday's classes and work and patrol and just anything, just a steady, even stream of words. Eventually Wade shifts on the couch and leans his head against Peter's shoulder.

\---

They stay like that for a long while, with Peter continually talking and going further and further back into his week for more material. Johnny is positive that Peter already told them both some of the things he's talking about, but he senses that that isn't the point. It seems to help, because some of the tension leaves Wade's body.

Wade lifts up a bit and whispers in Peter's ear. Johnny, of course, can't hear what he says, but Peter looks sick and then nods. Peter squeezes Wade's shoulder and says okay. And Wade gets up and walks to the bathroom. The door doesn't slam, like Johnny thought it might. It clicks shut with just the barest of sounds.  
Johnny doesn't know and Peter knows Johnny doesn't know. He considers telling Johnny. Telling him what's about to happen. Or telling him to leave before it does.

"Pete, what. What?" He says, voice low and full of confusion. Peter shakes his head but his knuckles are white against the pillow in his lap. "What's wrong?"

Then. He hears it. A pop like a car door slamming shut. It takes a minute for him to process what it was. He claps his hands to his mouth and is suddenly dizzy and nauseous. "Oh my god." He says through his hands.  
Peter breathes out unsteadily and shuts his eyes. He sinks back into the couch and blinks at the ceiling, eyes red and watery.

"Oh my god was that-"

"Yes." Peter says. "Yes it was."

"Wh-" Johnny stops, almost gagging. "I can't-"

"It's okay." Peter sounds so tired, more so than Johnny has ever heard him. More than any double shift he's ever pulled or back to back classes or week after week of patrolling without a break.

"How can you say it's okay?" Johnny asks. He can hardly breathe. "He just- just because he comes back doesn't mean-"

"I know." Peter says.

Johnny takes a deep breath. He stands up but sits back down again, completely unsure of what he's supposed to be doing. "What'd he say? When he whispered to you, what'd he say?"

"He said "I can't, please don't be mad". And I said okay." Peter answers, his voice cracks on the okay.

"Okay." Johnny mumbles. "Okay, what do we do?"

"Wait."

**Author's Note:**

> If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please seek help. I've been there and it is not easy to get through it on your own. It's definitely possible, and I have before, but it's easier with someone to talk to. Anyone, anyone positive at all. Anyone willing to listen to you rant. Even a stranger. The app Vent helped me a lot during my worst times, and there are other things like that I'm sure. You can also call hotlines, and don't ever feel like your problems aren't as important as other people's problems, because you matter just as much and it's just that dark thing inside you making you sick and telling you that. I promise that it is lying and you matter so much, and that it will get better. I know that's cliche and unbelievable in those bad times but it's the truth. And if you're having trouble please don't hesitate to message me on my tumblr: aspiritedpotato. I won't have much advice to give but I will listen and I also have a lot of things gathered in my tagged/self-care that helped me and others.


End file.
